All posts by Lar

Tidying Magic: the KonMari Method

KonMari-makeup

Dear Cath

I clean begrudgingly but I love to organize. It feels like I’m putting in order the scattered contents of my brain. I know you like to do it just as much as I do, if not more so. It almost seems backward that I’ve read this book and you haven’t (darn that academic reading getting in the way of your magical tidying!).

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying. That title sounds a little overblown, doesn’t it? Ignore the slightly-screw translations (Marie Kondo’s tidy-guru status is still mainly Japan-based), this book is awesome. Maybe it’s not as awesome if you don’t list toward Type A on the personality scale, but it all felt very right to me. I couldn’t put it down and felt bereft when I finished it. A nonfiction book! About organising! Compelling stuff. Really and truly. I felt like a zen monk when I read it — even the part where you anthropomorphize your socks (remember how I couldn’t throw away that laundry-basket full of slippers when I was a teenager because I felt to guilty about how lonely and sad they would feel rotting in a land fill somewhere?).

Don’t let the sock thing deter you though. This book will make sense even if you don’t attach human feelings to inanimate objects.

Here are the main tenets of the KonMari Method:

• Marie Kondo (KonMari is her nickname, hence the name of the method) doesn’t believe in tidying day in and day out. You do it all in an unspecified, short period of time and then you don’t ever have to do a massive tidy session ever again. In. Your. Life. Because everything you love and keep will have a place to go.

• You start tidying by categories in the following order: clothes, books, papers, miscellaneous and sentimental items.

• The method to tidying each category is as follows: discard anything that does not “spark joy.” Do not start putting things away or organise anything until you have picked up each item you own and felt if it either sparked or fizzed.

“Sparking joy” does seem really vague, and quite honestly I found this the hardest part to do. But it was really, really helpful to be forced to take out each object I own and really look at it and evaluate how much I love something. It turns out I do in fact love that ugly Columbia fleece jacket I have as well as my lemon juicer. And I got rid of some things that totally surprised me at the time because I used them a lot — and now I can’t even recall what they were (just 2 weeks after I sent them off to Salvation Army).

Tidying my flat

I don’t think you are meant to do the method in one weekend, but I was motivated by the fact that I have become quasi minimalist in the past few years. And because our flat is so tiny, there isn’t much room to keep . much. That’s not to say I hadn’t squirreled away a bunch of stuff. I donated 10 large bags to Salvation army and had about five bags of trash and recycling at the end of my tidy weekend.

In the images below the “before” pics show you the bedroom and lounge/kitchen with everything that I own pulled out of closets, drawers and cabinets. The “after” pics are what’s left once everything has been discarded or put away.

KonMari discard bedroom

KonMari tidy

KonMari discard

KonMari kitchen

Marie Kondo recommends a specific way to fold everything so that you can see everything you have every time you open your drawers: nothing should be stacked on top of each other. This totally surprised me, but even after two weeks (and a couple rounds of laundry later), my drawers still look exactly like this. It might seem anal, but having a place for everything actually makes it so much easier to put things away:

KonMari socks

KonMari folding

Every drawer, shelf and cabinet has been scoured and reorganized. I went through all of our papers (they now all fit in that grey box on the shelf in the pic below), photographs, cords and chargers. I’ve even been through all the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. Done and done:

organizing shelves Organizing Organising

 If you are feeling burdened by the amount of stuff you have, do it

You know how people make ridiculous claims on QVC or cheap cable commercials? I truly feel like I could do that for this tidy method – except it would be sincere (no offense, Shamwow). Not only do I feel calmer and happier at home now, I swear it has helped with the impending winter doom that I usually feel. Who would have thought putting things away and getting rid of things could help banish the seasonal darkness? Maybe it makes sense why we always feel blue post-Christmas season. It’s not so much that the celebrations are over, but because we are left with so much more stuff. Stuff is overwhelming. And feeling more calm and surrounded by only the things you love totally works. All common sense really, but it helps to have it laid out for you KonMari style.

Do you think I’m nuts? I can help you KonMari-ify when I’m home this summer. You’ll be done with classes by then and freeeeee!

Love you like my socks love being rolled (not folded),

Lar

 

Hair-story: kinda wavy to kinda curly

curly hair

Dear Readers,

You know that hair the “it” girls have these days? It’s fairly straight with just a hint of wave and volume in just the right places? It’s the key to the insouciant off-duty model style and somehow seems bedheady without even a whiff of frizz.

That is the opposite of what my hair does.

Cath and I have had very thick, slightly wavy hair since we were about 13. Like most people, our hair texture changed when we hit puberty. As wee lassies we had very long, straight hair. I’ve always liked the bit of wave I got once I was older, but I usually would blow dry and straighten it to kill the frizz and not have to worry about the volume getting out of control.

About two to three years ago I noticed my hair was getting dryer and my trusty hair straightener wasn’t taming the fly-aways like it used to. I blamed it on the Scottish water and Scottish wind (when in doubt, blame the weather!) because I figured moving from Atlanta to a place with a considerably different climate would wreck any girls usual hair routine.

I persevered though — more heat! More oils! More hair masks! And still I had a halo of frizz that seemed to get more, not less, tenacious. I also started to notice my hair curling in loose tendrils instead of just “S” waves when I would give my hair a break from heat tools.

The past three weeks I’ve put my blowdryer and straightener away to see what my hair would do left to its own devices. And by “left to its own devices” I mean I googled “how to style curly hair” daily to figure out what to do with this frizzy lion’s mane. And, man, does it want to curl.

This hair story probably sounds really undramatic, but having your hair change is a bit mind-blowing. At times when I look down at my curls I feel like I’m wearing a wig — that’s not my hairs! I send Cath constant texts with pictures of the status of my hair: day two, less frizz, slept with it in a pineapple (I had never heard of pinappling hair before last week). It’s just a bizarre experience that I feel compelled to share with the one person who not only knows me so well, but also used to share my exact same hair.

That’s what makes it even more bizarre — my genetic identical no longer looks like me. Cath’s hair waves but doesn’t curl, and it looks way more slick when she straightens it.

So using Cath as a constant, I think we can say my hair change is environmental, not biological or at least not congenitally biological. I do live on a different continent and eat a different diet from Cath. I changed my diet (mainly vegan and tons more green stuff) drastically when I moved over here three years ago. My endometriosis was also getting much more severe (and was much more severe than Cath’s is now, thank goodness!). So maybe diet and hormones are having their say (Curly! Curly! Curly!).

Quite honestly, a year and a half ago when I was hospitalised because of the complications I had from endo, I thought the stress and the pain of the experience would change my hair. I was expecting a lot of it to fall out (and it did thin out for a while) and/or maybe even go grey. Curly was not on the list of things I thought might happen.

And I do kind of like to think that all that’s happened: the good (beautiful Scotland) and the bad (hospital stays) and the different (I wasn’t even vegetarian before I went vegan) maybe all contributed to this change.

So the question is, have you guys had this experience? Or have your friends? There’s been very little scientific research about this (I know because I’ve been a-Googlin’ like crazy) so it’s great to talk to other women and hear their “hair-story.” I’d love to hear yours!

Xoxox and curls,

Lar

p.s. Cath, I hope you aren’t getting sick of hearing about my hair bafflement! I promise I’ll start culling the curly hair What’s App pics.

 

This Week: KonMari Method and Curly Hair

St Giles
Lovely St. Giles on a blue-skied day in Edinburgh

Hi Cath!

I’m so sorry things have gone quiet on my end. As you know, outside of work, most of my brain power has been used on two things:

• Becoming a tidying disciple of this book

• Figuring out what to do with my “new” curly hair

Those must seem like luxuries to you as busy as you are: full-time work, two work-heavy classes at night, saving for your surgery, taking care of your pups and your fam, your new house, going to the gym. I seriously don’t know how you do it.

Since I only do about 32% of what you do, I’ve had time to throw myself into Marie Kondo’s method of discarding and then arranging your house AND watch endless Youtube videos on what to do with wavy/curly hair.

I will write a proper post all about Marie Kondo’s book, but in the meantime here is a sneak peak before and after:

KonMari method

And here’s what my hair looks like most mornings after I’ve slept on it (photo does not show copious amounts of frizz) — Sorry about the weird glow on my face. That would be my sun lamp:

Wavy curly hair

Sara and I tried out Heads and Tales gin bar the other night. Mine is the pink cocktail which was smoked grapefruit and gin. The “smoke” came from a few squirts of peaty whisky around the rim of the glass — and you know how much I love my peaty whisky!

Heads and Tales

After tidying all weekend, we did take one break to go to our favourite new local café called Milk. Our favourite is their rosemary egg and mushroom burrito served with wild rice and a chopped cabbage salad:

Milk Edinburgh

Apologies for the state of most of these photos. I’m home mainly when it is pitch-black outside (the sun rises around 9 am and sets before 4 pm). I’ll do a proper post on the KonMari method if you want to see all the changes it’s made (I know I sound like I’ve drunk the kool aid — I totally have).

Hope the week is treating you well and cutting you some slack.

Love,
Lar

 

Hand-me-down

hand-me-down

Dear Cath

Do you recognize this dress?

Because it was Alison’s, I call it my teacher-with-an-edge dress (readers, Alison is an awesome primary school teacher at a charter school in a low socio-economic area of Atlanta —  coincidentally where Matt and I used to live!). I wear it roughly once a week — usually with tights and a coat (that pic above is a lie — bare legs in Scotland? Ha!).

I feel like hand-me-down clothing is just another component to the ethical clothing supply. I’ve bought a few new pieces this year, but I’m still trying to be fairly conscientious about the amount I buy and where it’s sourced from. And this dress was not only recycled, but received from such a lovely person that I feel happier when I wear it than if I had bought it new.

I still remember the thrill of getting cool-cousin-Genn’s hand-me-downs: all those 90s Betsey Johnson dresses and random assortment of jackets and tanks. Thinking about it now, a large part of our wardrobe growing up was probably hand-me-downs. We couldn’t afford to do much shopping so we took what we could get.

It’s tricky not to be snagged by the siren song of the high street shops — especially when the seasons change. New coats, new boots, fuzzy sweaters, faux fur jackets, gloves! So I’m constantly looking for inspiration to fight the urge to run into Zara and buy everything that looks furry or glitters: enter We Make It Last.


Photo via WeMakeItLast

It’s a digital magazine all about sustainable clothing and style. One of my favorite fashion bloggers (see above) now blogs on the site, which equals double the amount of inspiration. It really helps to see a community that you admire trying to curb their consumerism and doing it with ingenuity and beauty.

So I’m going to keep trying to ignore the glittery enticement of over-shopping this holiday season (for myself and others). I know this will be a challenge, especially when all the festivities start. There’s less time to make things or source things properly and you easily get caught up in the frenetic energy of the season — so easy to shop and eat and shop and eat. I’ll let you know if I avoid any of that. (Considering make next post to you is all about food, I’m probably not off to a great start ;D).

I hope this post helps you, Cath! I know it will be hard to not spend money so you can save up for your endometriosis surgery. And especially when you are stressed with work and school and thinking about saving money, the last thing you want to do is . save money. But I’ll be with you every step of the way.

Love you more than that velvet Betsey Johnson hand-me-down dress from 1995!

Lar

Sometimes Edinburgh feels like Italy

lunch al fresco

Dear Cath

You know how I was just bemoaning the fact that Edinburgh can be so miserably oppressive in the winter? Well, the last few weeks have been amazing. I mean, it rains a lot and we have gray days, but it’s not been cruel, ruthlessly windy and cold. And it’s the end of October!

In fact today is windy and rainy, but it’s warm-ish. And it feels wooonderful. And last weekend we actually sat outside in the sun for lunch. Our first summer in Scotland we couldn’t do that once. In summer.

Matt and I have been even more wary of this approaching winter because we won’t have our usual reprieve in Atlanta for Christmas. I don’t like thinking about not being together, but my fingers and toes are crossed that this will be the first and last time we spend the holidays apart. And in the meantime I’m sorry you’ll have to hear me give you constant Scottish weather reports.

Winter closing in isn’t all bad though. I love the drama of the light at this time of the year. As the sun makes it’s slow descent, the angle of the light is so intense. Yesterday I went strolling through Princes Street Gardens and up Castle rock just as the sun was setting behind the castle. Soon that will be happening at around 2:30 or 3pm, but for now it’s still at a reasonable 5:30pm and looks beautiful.

tree train edinburgh fall light

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and are getting a touch of autumn in Atlanta. Can’t wait to chat later today!

xoxoxox,

Lar

 

 

Today

Edinburgh sky

Dear Cath,

I took this waiting at my bus stop after work this evening. Bus rides are bumpy and irritable in Edinburgh — all cobblestones and constant road works. But I followed the sunset home. It was just dipping below the horizon as we turned onto York Place and everything it touched was daubed in gold.

Love you,

Lar

p.s. Still plowing through that Marx bio (my Kindle says I’m only 43% of the way through. Liar.). I learned today that Marx’s uncle, who repeatedly denied his nephew much-needed financial relief, was the founder of the company that would become Philips Electronics. An irascible, not-too-fond-of-Marx 19th century Dutch man. One degree of separation between the Communist Manifesto and an electronic shaver. Heh!

 

Winter is coming, but not if I can help it

Edinburgh-castle-fall

Dear Cath (and readers!)

Holy schmoly it’s been weeks! I’m so sorry so much time has gone by and I haven’t posted diddly-squoo. And, no, you should not have been posting. As I’ve mentioned in emails, your life is about 15 times (that’s a conservative estimate) more busy and stressful and more social butterfly-full than mine is.

My only excuse is blind panic. My brain has, fairly dramatically, switched into winter-is-coming mode. The sunlight has perceptively shifted and we are on the speedy downward tilt toward winter. Days where the sun barely peeps over the horizon and even then it’s away again in five hours. The darkness is coming. Nooooooo.

Princes Street Gardens dusk

I keep trying to deny it, but my brain chemistry won’t be fooled. Already I feel more inclined to huddle under blankets and watch Netflix all day while I bat away those annoying gnats of Darkness, Gloom, Sunlight-is-dead buzzing around my head.

Always my first course of action is denial (aka binge Netflix watching). But this year, Matt and I are trying something new . The Gym.

I know you’re like an amazing working-out-er now, Cath. You wake up at 6am and go to the Y and lift weights. You do like four classes of Jazzercise on the weekend (and work full time and go to school practically full time). So very inspiring!

Before joining The Gym (has to have caps because it feels momentous and still a strange thing) all I did was jump on my mini trampoline (oops, I mean rebounder!) for 10 minutes and then did some downward dogging. I was/am intimidated by The Gym. All those people running and stepping and moving their arms on these clunky, mean looking grey machines.

You know why else I’m intimidated? The playground. Remember how when we were little and didn’t like to share the playground with other kids (we were extremely shy)? That’s how I feel about the gym. I get intimidated by all those people moving in athletic ways and it totally makes me want to retreat to the park bench/corner-by-the-lockers.

But I’ve been pushing myself to do things, even with other kids on the playground, because of the SAD brain. It needs all the help it can get.

YES-independence

Matt sent me this great article from the Nytimes about how exercise helps depression. I know we’ve heard that before but these scientist at a university in Sweden did some studies on mice (poor guys) and tried to tease out what exactly was happening in their brain chemistry.

How do they know when mice are depressed? They give up trying to get out of the cold water maze. They just sit there. That’s me! During a Scottish winter! Getting colder and more depressed.

And apparently, what happens when the rats exercise is they produce an enzyme called PGC-1alpha1 that makes these guards that combat this mean substance called Kynurenine which basically inflames your brain and leads to depression (and is caused by repeated stress). So the no-longer depressed mice fight through the maze and start caring about eating their sugar water again. Happy ending, phew!

So even though I still feel like an alien in the gym, I just keep thinking I’m calling up my PGC-1alpha1 guards. And I do actually think it might be working. “Kill those #%$@ing Kynurenine dead, PGC-1alpha1s!” Its a mouthful of a mantra, but whatever works against the cold water maze of a Scottish winter is good.

Lar one for one

And I can tell it must be working because I feel like doing (slightly) more than just watching Netflix during my free time. I’ve even (overly-ambitiously) started five books. Three of which I plan to finish! Maybe. Okay two. One’s our Women in Clothes (aren’t you loving it?!) and I will finish that. Two is a biography on Marx and his wife Jenny (probably won’t make it through that one — I’m a terrible nonfiction reader). Three is The Cornish Coast Mystery which is like a cozy Agatha Christie. There are also some feel-good books by Marianne Williamson and Gary Zukav to help with the 1alphas1 (as yet untested on mice however).

I think there is a good chance that I might retreat to the world of Netflix/toast/blanket/couch hibernation mode by December but if I can stave it off until then, I’ll consider it a job well done.

I hope with all you have going on and even though you feel so very stressed out, that the one upside to being so busy is that your brain doesn’t have time to mess around with winter blues. I do so hope that’s the case.

I miss you so, so very much!

Love you like happy mice like sugar water,

Lar

I Love You, Scotland (Update)

aye scotland

Dear Cath

As wee, impressionable ladies in our teenage years you would have been hard-pressed to convince us that we would love this blustery, hilly land of sheep and castles. The closest our teenage love got for the green isles was for Michael Flatly (shouldn’t admit that out loud, huh?) and he’s from that other very green and very damp place.

We were never particularly keen on celtic things or ancestry — our ancestors are from pretty much everywhere else in the world but Scotland. Our naive heads were turned by the idea Paris, London and Madrid. And then we grew up a bit and actually got to travel to those lofty cosmopolitan hubs and we liked them very much indeed, but we didn’t truly fall in love with a place until we met Scotland.

And what an arbitrary meeting too! We knew we were Anglophiles and decided to give Edinburgh a try for studying abroad — almost on a whim. I know there must have been hard days during those two semesters in Edinburgh, but I don’t remember one moment. I remember the train journeys to far-flung castles and warming our hands around mugs of tea. Majestic stone cities and crisp, fresh air. And I remember how completely and utterly heart-broken we were to leave and go back to the States.

It’s been so hard to be here without you, Cath, but I’m glad that the place I’ve spent the longest living apart from you has been this country we both love so very, very much.

As a non-EU member and non-Commonwealther, I don’t get a say in the way things go Thursday, but I really do believe that Scotland will thrive no matter what. It’s a beautiful country full of talented people and I feel so lucky we got to meet and fall in love with her.

Love you like Scotland,

Lar

yes scotland

 

Update 20 September:

Dear All,

Waking up to a No vote yesterday morning was sad and disappointing, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t have been worried about a Yes vote and all the unknowns that would have come with it.

In Edinburgh the mood has been subdued, but it was a decisive No in our neck-of-the-woods. Things pretty much are carrying on as usual. Glasgow and Dundee were decided Yeses and I imagine there must be even greater disappointment, sadness and more than a few sore heads this weekend.

I hope that moving forward Scotland gets the powers it wants (and was pledged) while remaining part of the Union and that Westminster gives more credence to those fighting for a more equal and socialist approach to governing.

I also hope that our neighbors in England, Wales and Northern Ireland don’t feel hurt by Scotland’s desire for independence. I really strongly feel it was never a desire to be separate from such wonderful people and cultures, but a frustration at feeling unrepresented and ignored by the powers that be.

Hope you all are having a wonderful (reconciliation) weekend!

Love,

Lar

Home Away From Home

flat-decorpom-pom garlandbook-shelfikea-cart

Dear Cath,

This is our teeny flat on a quiet Sunday morning.

One day we will live side by side like we always dreamed (because our partners wouldn’t have a say — didn’t even occur to us, did it)? But for now you live in a beautiful house, on a woodsy plot in Atlanta and I live in a teeny flat perched on the edge of a busy road in Edinburgh.

Love,

Lar

Back to Edinburgh

George-IV-bridge

Dear Cath,

I left Atlanta a measly week ago! How does it feel so much longer? Leaving you and grappling with jet lag has been mitigated by Katherine and Maria’s Labor Day (not Labour Day — we don’t celebrate it here) mini visit. We’ve been very touristy: tramping up and down the Royal Mile, watching fireworks, eating haggis, going for afternoon tea and climbing Arthur’s Seat. Today we plan to hit the Palace and National Museum before they both head back to D.C. tomorrow.

Arthursseat Tower-restaurant-tea

Once they are gone I’ll have to face the fact that I’m back across an ocean from you. It’s a bad time to be moving into the dreaded dark months of winter here — it already feels like autumn: the leaves are changing colour and the air is crisp. Geek alert: I’m still making my way through the Game of Thrones books and each time someone says “winter is coming” I feel like throwing my Kindle across the room and throwing a hissy fit. I know winter is coming and it will be long and it will be dark and my sister is 5,000+ miles away.

Enough with the grumps though. It’s a new week and a palace awaits.

Love you like George Martin loves the word winter,

Lar

P.S. Memories.

cath-and-lar