Recovery

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Thank you guys so much for the sweet messages here on AsianCajuns while I’ve been away.

These past six weeks have been bewildering, scary and exhausting. As Cath mentioned a few weeks ago, I was in the hospital for two weeks due to complications caused by endometriosis. I had a burst cyst and a tenacious infection that was treated with surgery and mah-hooosive doses of antibiotics. Slowly, but surely I’ve been on the mend (woohoo!) — but it’s the “slowly” that takes me by surprise.

This is going to sound like such a naive and stupid thing to say, but who knew recovery could take so long and be so hard. I assumed recovery would be just feeling a bit tired and getting to watch netflix for hours on end while loved ones ply you with bowls of soup and plates of buttery toast (thank you Matteo and mom!). But when your body is trying to knit itself back together post-surgery and been pummeled with what one of my doctor’s described as “liquid bleach” (aka the burliest, muscliest batch of antibiotics) and an unending supply of potent pain killers, surprisingly your body doesn’t just bounce back.

Part of my impatience at this slow recovery has come from wanting to get as far away emotionally, mentally and physically as possible from this experience. I know we are meant to build character and inner strength during very difficult times, but I seriously want to say “erm, thanks for this opportunity for spiritual growth and wisdom and all, but I think I’ll take a pass. Rain check (for never)? Okay then! Buh-bye!” And then run as far and fast as I can from reminders of hospital machine beepings and long moments of pain.

Unfortunately, it isn’t a choice — this long-haul recovery. It’s not letting me stick my fingers in my ears and go “LA LA LA LAAAA” until it’s all over (fist shake!). But with all my graceless grumblings I feel very lucky to have had so much support from family and friends. Also, if you are going to feel unwell for weeks on end, it’s not too shabby to get to spend one of those weeks in an Italian villa with some of your very favorite people in a place that I’m pretty sure might be heaven.

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Dear Cath,

As beautiful as Sant’ Antonio was, I feel a little cheated. I didn’t get to properly soak up Cath time because I had to spend energy on recovery (again with that patience thing — when will I learn?). Recovery is a little like a haze that blurs moments that should stand out in sharp relief: I was in a beautiful Italian villa with my twinie! Instead, the blurriness makes me think of sitting on my bed grumbling about some pain.

I can’t wait to see you again without the haze and with less grumbling on my part! And it isn’t so very far away is it? December is practically right around the corner!

Miss you to the moon and back!

Campari Spritzly Yours,

Lar

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28 thoughts on “Recovery”

  1. I am so glad to hear that you are on the mend Lar, thank god! Recovery is not a quick and easy process, it kind of sucks to be honest, but good luck and hang in there, it’ll get better and better, it really will!
    That villa looks and sounds like it might just be heaven on earth, and why a wonderful place to have a twin reunion! I’m glad you giys got to spend some time together again as well as with family and friends, life is good sometimes (recovery notwithstanding)!
    Take care, x

  2. i can’t believe your cyst burst. i can’t even imagine how much pain you were in!
    recovery is a very rough road. i know when i had my endo surgery last year it took me 2 weeks until i could even get out of bed!i thought i’d be fine in 5 days or so.boy was i wrong. but look at it this way: AT LEAST YOU GOT TO RECOVER IN ITALY!!! 🙂

    1. Thanks, Diane! Yeah, isn’t it shocking how long this takes. I wonder why the doctors always make it sound like we should be back to normal in a few days.

      xoxox,
      Lar

  3. Hi Lar! I know it wasn’t the vacation we had initially planned, but I’m so grateful you could come to the villa. What a magical place that was – and we’ll return there when you’re in better health and finish reading Enchanted April together!

    I wish I could be with you in Scotland while you recover. I’m so sorry it’s such a long process. I’m so glad you’re taking it easy and listening to your body.

    We’ll see each other in no time and until then, I’ll skype you as often as I can!

    xoxo, Cath

    1. I wish so much you could be here too, Cath! Our beautiful villa was not enough time was it? P.S. Did you see that Enchanted April is on Netflix?!
      xoxoxox, Lar

  4. Lar, I am sooooo happy that you got to spend some time with Cath in that B-eautiful place. Having a chronic illness & often going in & out of hospitals, I know how frustrating it can be to just let the body mend–especially while being young.

    What I’ve learned is that sometimes God exposes us to difficult situations so that we are reminded of the FAB love he has for us.

    When sick or have to have a surgery (I’ve had too many to count on my fingers & toes, honey!) I am reminded that I have loved ones there to care for me. How AWESOME IS THAT? Sadly, some peeps don’t have this luxury. This alone makes me smile & know that through the pain that I have peeps who really have my back–literally & MORE!! You have the same & that’s a plus, Lar!

    It’s gonna be a tough recovery, but you will be a-ok. Sending blessings & love your way. 🙂 <3

    1. Tamika, thank you so much for your comment! Your strength and understanding totally soothed me! I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had many more moments than me like this. Thank you for your blessings and inspiration!
      xoxoxox,
      Lar

  5. Just wanted to add my best wishes and to say how lovely it is to see the two of you together with family and friends–in an Italian villa to boot! Your post made me think of what a great (and exhausting) time we had when we went to Italy after graduation. Miss you!

    1. I thought about that time too, Michelle! Miss you oodles and hope we get to see you at Christmas!
      xoxox, Lar

  6. Hey Sweetie! Been there, done thatit totally gets better with time. Keep your chin up and be patient with yourself! Much love to you and yours!

    1. Hi Camille! So good to hear from you — and huge thank you for your reminder! As hard as it is to know that other women have to struggle through this and worse, it gives me strength to hear that — and to soldier on.
      xoxoxox,
      Lar

  7. Lauren!

    It’s Kate from ASC. I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better! I had no idea you had endometriosis, but you are in my thoughts and heart! Keep your head up and you will come through this. I was recently in the hospital with a blood clot and pulmonary embolism because I have a previously undiagnosed blood condition called lupus anticoagulant. I’m doing better each day too, but it’s a scary and awakening experience to go through something like this. Definitely makes you appreciate each day a bit more. Please keep us updated on your progress!

    Kate Miller

    1. Hi Kate!

      So good to hear from you — thank you so much for commenting and letting me know about you too. It is such a bewildering and scary thing: hospital stays, recovery and learning to live with a challenging condition.

      I’m so glad each day is getting better for you as well! Sending you my thoughts and prayers!

      xoxoxo, Lar

  8. I’m really glad to hear you’re okay! Recovery will come slowly but surely, but yeah, waiting for it can be frustrating when there are so many good things in life you feel like you’re missing out on.

  9. I am so very happy to hear that you are on the mend, Lar! I know I’m late to comment, but you’re definitely in my thoughts and I’m sending some good vibes to your end of the rainbow! You’re one tough cookie!!!

  10. Glad you’re on the mend. Yep, it’s harder than people think. There is this idea you can just use willpower and speed things up but the body needs its time to heal. Found that out after MrB had a hip replacement and they told him not to sit up for too long. Well, he sat up for an hour and his whole leg swelled up. So he literally had to be lying down for hours on end. The physical therapist says people never believe they have to rest, really rest, till they find out the hard way! It sucks!

  11. I’m a little late to the party. I’m so glad you’re on the road to recovery! I had my gallbladder taken out a couple weeks ago and it doesn’t even begin to compare to what you’ve had to go through! Rest up!

    ~Faith

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